In the 14th episode of Passion and Potential, I talk about that inner voice that tears us down daily. You must learn to be kind to yourself and reframe the way you talk to yourself.
One of the things I know many women and men struggle with is their body image, and learning to love themselves in a physical and internal way. It’s a really tough journey, and everyday is a work in progress. There was a point in time where my outlook on myself was so bad that if someone complimented me, I would actually start to tear up. The voice inside my head was toxic. I would walk by mirrors or analyze any bit of work that I did and tear myself down.
In addition to being a wedding photographer, I’m also a boudoir photographer and I’ve seen how hard women are on themselves. It breaks my heart when a woman walks into my studio and immediately apologizes for the way she looks. That’s one of the reasons why I’m super passionate about empowering people to see themselves in a different light and to learn the power of self love.
Here are some of the things I’ve done (that you can do, too!) to change that voice and be kind to yourself.
Every time you say something mean about your body, your personality or your ambitions, follow it up with three positive things and say them out loud. Rediscover your inner child and tell her she’s beautiful, successful, smart and amazing until your adult self believes it.
I know it’s awkward, but you have to learn to be uncomfortable until you eventually become comfortable. I promise if you do, you’re going to feel a sense of relief. You’re going to feel more positive, more energized and best of all, happier.
They’re watching and they see the way you treat yourself and talk about yourself. After all, you are their inner voice. Teach their voice to be kind by your example.
Because if you bring yourself down in front of your friends, chances are they’re going to bring themselves down, too. Be a part of the solution.
Holding onto hateful feelings is toxic and exhausting, and won’t help you with your self love journey – it’ll just cause more hate.
Remember, they have their own insecurities and secret wishes. You don’t know their struggles, so don’t envy or resent them. Build them up and love them.
We all fail, and that’s okay. Analyze the situation, recognize what went wrong, and then tell yourself (out loud!) three things that you did right and that you’re proud of yourself for.
You cannot depend on someone else to give you the confidence and love that you need. If you look for that outside yourself, you’re always going to end up disappointed.
Focus on the positive, not the negative. Then focus on the success, not the failure. Focus on inspiring someone to do the same because positivity is contagious.
You wouldn’t tolerate your best friend or your spouse saying awful things about you or reminding you of your failures instead of your successes. So why do we allow ourselves to do it? We don’t deserve that hate, and we don’t have time or energy for it.
I hope this helps you! If you haven’t yet, be sure to join my Facebook group – Passion & Potential Facebook Group – where we talk about stuff like this all the time while building each other up and empowering one another.
You can also follow along on Instagram and join the group from the link in my bio!
PS – want to check out some other episodes? Click here