Coping Mechanisms I Developed When I Realized I Lost Myself – Passion and Potential

episode 18- the coping mechanisms I developed when I realized I lost myself, passion and potential podcast by arastasia listen on apple and spotify

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’ve lost themselves, and can’t quite see the sunshine within. I talk through the coping mechanisms I developed (unintentionally) when I lost myself and how they severely helped my mental health and self.

About a year and a half ago, I noticed that I had stopped painting. This led me to realize more things that I had stopped feeling passion for or stopped doing altogether. I lost my spark and no longer felt inspired and motivated when I woke up in the morning. I had lost myself. 

If I had continued to pretend everything was okay and ignore life, I don’t know if I would have emerged from the dark place I was in. These are some of the things I started doing that brought me little hints of joy and eventually led me to rediscover myself and my passion. 

Bike riding

I went to Walmart and bought a little Beach Cruiser that I became obsessed with. Then, I rode everywhere – to volleyball or to the store or sometimes just in circles. I created a playlist for bike riding and would listen to it over and over again.

I started riding my bike to the beach because I love water and sunsets, and couldn’t remember the last time I’d slowed down enough to enjoy either one. I started forcing myself to notice small joys again. I would ride my bike to the beach and sit and listen to music for an hour staring at the water and journaling. 


I journaled all the time. The moment I started to get overwhelmed, I would write down all of my thoughts, feelings and insecurities. By facing my life and feelings head on and accepting them rather than suppressing them, I started becoming self aware. 

Doing things alone 

Being alone is not something I was used to or super comfortable with. I have five siblings and we always had random friends or cousins living with us so I never spent a lot of time alone when I was growing up. I always had a boyfriend and if I wasn’t with my boyfriend, I was with my friends. I would fill my time with so many other people’s emotions that I didn’t have to focus on my own. As a people pleaser, I tend to match what I think will make other people happy and accept me, so I decided to start doing things alone and take time to understand and know myself without the influence of other people. 

Creating boundaries 

I stopped tolerating manipulation and no longer accepted people putting all of their emotional baggage or unwarranted opinions on me. I put up walls in places where they were necessary. I had to create a safe space for myself where I could tune into my own emotions. With every decision, I started asking myself: Does this serve the life I want? This forced me to analyze the ways I was giving my time to relationships and activities that didn’t serve my purpose of what I needed and wanted for myself. 

Listening to music 

This one is personal but for me, I don’t think there was one point of silence while I was rediscovering myself. 

Going to therapy

Therapy was massively helpful in finding myself. I think that most often, your therapist knows who you are deep down but they have to wait for you to find yourself! 


I started painting again and it was such a saving grace in terms of my mental health and the therapeutic impact it had on me. To get to a place where I was inspired by art again was a massive breakthrough, and that’s one of the reasons I get very emotionally attached to my paintings. 

Making new connections

I started joining volleyball teams and gyms full of people I didn’t know. 

Most importantly, I was forcing myself into self reflectionion and discomfort rather than remaining stagnant in my state of unhappiness. I had to make extremely uncomfortable changes that included a lot of heartbreak, but were necessary. 

I’m still on the journey, but I can’t imagine what my life would look like if I didn’t force myself into all of these coping mechanisms and uncomfortability. 

If you’re going through a tough time, I hope that you can adopt some of these little habits and implement them into your daily life and that they help you as well.  

I promise you, sunshine is around the corner. 


For more support and inspiration, follow me on Instagram and join our community that goes hand in hand with the podcast – Passion & Potential Facebook Group

Until next time my friends – Arastasia

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